Another In-Between Place Discovered

"Another In-Between Place Discovered"

How do you pick up where you've left off? How do you pick up the pen again and search for those places of discovery? I know it just starts with sitting still in quite moments. With journeying through thoughts and shaded memories. 

Tonight I sit with an achy tooth. With a green tea bag soaked in hot water...now pressed between my lip and teeth. Praying for a home remedy to work. So far so good. But thinking that a trip to the dentist will be my demise. Oh how I dislike that option. 

I've moved again. Yes...my eleventh move since April 2013. I'm not proud of that number...it's just reality. This thought brings me once again back to that world I call The Land of And. Love and Hate. Moving again. Pulling myself up again. Settling again. Nesting again. I don't love this all the time and I don't  hate it all the time. Again I find myself in the in-between of these two worlds. In the AND LAND...wondering how it is that I can find myself hating this situation AND at the same time loving the fact that I'm no longer somewhere I can't afford. I'm still in my own space. But...no I'm not married. No...I'm not sharing this space. And yes...as much as I don't like it...to go down to affordable I had to move to a location that doesn't make me feel 100% safe. And so...yes, it is another in-between place for me. 

Green tea isn't bad...ha. A bit bitter when being soaked next to my tooth. But, working...I should say...somewhat. Ugh! 

Ok...back to my land I call AND. This in-between. This place that keeps me searching for answers. Pushing through to make sense of my world. 

I was challenged today to finish one of my books I've been working on. I chose to finish this one first. I was told the title may be a bit too hard for people to GET...I'm not sure about that. I believe we all have a place like The Land of And. That place that lies thickly deep between Love and Hate. The corners of our hearts where no one else is welcomed. Our treasure places. I actually believe this title...this message is easy for those who have lived in this world to understand its complete meaning. Each of our ANDS are uniquely different...created and written out specifically for our world. So, I take the challenge to finish this book. God put this so specifically on my heart several years back and it is time to pen out the stories that have laid buried and hidden. To bring light to my Land of And. To continue this journey of helping you find your lost treasure and in-between places that lie in wait for your soul to find and then bring rest to your  outcome. 

Closing this writing I have to express this. Today was my first day to be alone after getting moved and transitioned to my new space. For hours I pushed hard to work my Day Job. I pushed hard to create beauty in this new place...my space...my home. I pushed past the pain of an infected tooth. I pushed past the pain of achy muscles from lifting and moving. I actually didn't experience pain while I was creating, dreaming up the decor in my new place, working my job. Yet, tonight I lay here...in pain...soar muscles and I have to admit that loneliness and some fear has set in. Parts of my AND...my in-between...when I'm not completely experiencing Love and I'm not close to Hate...I get lost and caught up wondering why it is that there are moments and even hours that can come in and take us to complete love...and the opposite can happen where we experience complete hate...frustration over places in our lives. I admit honestly and wide open that I have experienced those two extreme emotions today. I loved fixing up my space. Creating beauty. Throwing pics on the wall, nesting, beautifying my home. Then I find myself shifting over tonight to a place I do hate at times...being alone, finding my mind craving companionship, not wanting to live in the in-between. Yet...realizing that in this place...God meets me here. God has a firm grip on me. 

He does the same for you. You may find yourself stuck between these two emotions. Back and forth..tossed like the wind. Friend, God has a grip on YOU. You don't have to keep a grip on Him. He doesn't need you to grip Him. Oh but how we need His grip. I'm so thankful that no matter what LAND I may be living in...the LAND OF AND...the LAND OF LOVE or the LAND OF HATE...God is always going to be right there still having a steady grip on His daughter. 

Rest, my friend, knowing God has a firm grip on you. And for those who may be reading this who never have experienced His grip. It is tender and loving...it is free and available. Just accept it and believe it. Let Jesus Christ take a grip of your heart. It will always and forever be the best Land you find to live in. 

Blessings 

Becka