Exposed Behind The Pulpit ~ Part One

Exposed Behind The Pulpit

I've thought about this image off and on lately. I really didn't know if anyone outside of my own daydreaming would get what this even means…then I thought…that's probably not true. If you've ever been in a position of leadership, worked in ministry, been a politician, the CEO of a company…any thing that has made you or your family EXPOSED. You just might understand this statement.

Interesting enough there might be some tiny  privacy behind a Pulpit. You are not fully exposed. Just parts of you are showing. Much like your life when you are a leader or a leader's family…your life is partially exposed at all times to all those who are "watching" your life.


I can remember when I first started singing in church. I was very young…probably around 8th grade I sang my first solo. Being able to stand behind the Pulpit gave me a sense of security and privacy. Strange to think back to this moment…because now in reality the pulpit only partially covered me. And in all reality…did it? I can see now that it did not. So what exactly made me throughout the years of singing in church feel so secure about standing BEHIND the PULPIT? It is simple in some ways…yet complex in others. The Pulpit provided me a place to expose only parts of my whole self…I didn't feel so vulnerable. I could share my talent…and yet still know that at least that thing…the Pulpit would embrace and hide my nervous…shaking legs. It would feel somewhat like an anchor…a leaning post. It became a security blankie…a friend. Oh my….I can just hear some of you…she's gone off the deep end. A Pulpit is her friend?…I know, right? But, I know from my own personal experience that when the rules changed and it was time to no longer sing behind Pulpits…to have a more contemporary look…I Panicked!! Can anyone relate?

The PULPIT.
I hope this Blog can become a conversation. I would love to know how Pastors feel about their Pulpit. How do Public Speakers feel about their Pulpit? How do family members of those in leadership feel about this exposing? Then there's the great question just about life itself…what other things become our Pulpits?

When I went to look up the word Pulpit in the dictionary it was so interesting to tear apart its meaning. The most exposing word I discovered in its meaning is the word "raised" or "elevated". In order to take your place behind a Pulpit…one is most likely always in an Elevated Position. A pastor, a priest, a politician, a public speaker. So, this is a person of some type of influence. The other word that popped out at me was "barrier"…there is protection surrounding the Pulpit…not much…but there is some. Also, two of the other ways of defining this word was "expressing ones opinion through a message or influence".

Husband walks in….A pausing of my writing happens and with that this comes next. 

My husband sits down with me and asked me to read to him what I've written thus far…he says to me…"Becka, what are you trying to say? You're not exposing anything…you need to put more real in this. If you're going to mention exposing something..then expose. There must be something you are feeling about this that is deeper than just stating these vague statements." 

So, with his challenge to dig deeper I began to do just that. A challenge is good for me. A prodding of ones soul…a forcing out from what is comfortable. To be real…to shake things up within the deep places of onesself…so, with that shaking I step into a place I find not all the time…a place that can spill out angles and corners of a deepness I am surprised to find…to discover. 

A Pulpit…A Place. A real experience… a nakedness that begs to be covered and hidden. In all of its reality this is what I feel when I think of this statement. I don't think of the leader behind this odd standing thing we call a Pulpit…I don't think of the talented Public Speaker…the Politician…the Preacher or Priest. I think of the people connected to them…the souls that are attached to their elevation. I think of the wife…the kids...The Family. 

And then with something that feels like a huge bang of the door…my deep and pouring out hand of writing stops. In exposing comes great vulnerability to lay out ones self. It takes immense courage…infused with a knowing that an opening up is about to happen. Which is basically one single word…EXPOSED! 

Stepping back in…cautiously…I began to feel again this moving within my bones…a shaking out of memories and thoughts. Why would I feel such a passion to Expose the Pulpit? Why do I have such concern for those that stand behind and in the background of these leaders?  I do know the answers to these questions. I do know where my curiosity comes from. 

I lived it. I was behind one of them…my kids were too. 

Some might say that bitterness is what drives me to lay out words on a Blog Post…they would say that exposing is to be left untouched…I beg to differ. I say…bitterness is not always the place in which our thrust to share comes from. I say it is simple…it is not so complex. A need to empty…a need to unload truth. To carry with us less and lay down answers to questions gone untouched. It is easy to accuse one who is ready to expose of such things as bitterness, mad, unhealed, angry…because with accusing comes this great ability to ignore and make excuses for. There need not be bitterness when one shares…just a sharing of ones soul parts…an exposing of a truth not frequently spoken. A telling of a story…a hope to share healing…a need to let you know there are those behind the pulpit that are never heard from…never listened to…never seen and most importanly…not always valued. 

So, there you have it. A start…a beginning place of telling. I will break this down in parts. Throwing out what flows out of my thinking…out of my deepness. A wondering of what it must be like behind these Pulpit Lives. 

With all writing and sharing comes times that words just don't come all at once…and that is where I find my hand now. I've emptied out…searching for words…not able to find. I rest now in hopes that these thoughts can pour out again…soon

Blessings friends